Sleep Deprivation

Sleep deprivation is a VERY real thing.  For the first couple of weeks, I still had enough adrenaline that it didn't honestly seem that bad during the daytime.  Of course, it was difficult to get out of bed several times in the middle of the night, but Wayne was helpful in either taking a feeding for me or getting up if he cried in between feeding times.  For the morning feeding, Wayne would go get Will and bring him to me so I wouldn't have to get out of bed.  He would also then let me go back to sleep and take Will downstairs to start the day.  What a blessing it is for me to have a husband who is completely confident in caring for Will on his own!

Before I go on, I need to stop and explain a little bit about our parenting style.  From the recommendation of countless parents in our lives, we read On Becoming Babywise before Will's arrival.  It's a book about how putting your baby on a schedule (yet still knowing how to be flexible to accommodate your baby's needs) from early on establishes stability AND helps the baby sleep through the night.  It also encourages teaching the baby to sleep in his or her crib and to not use "sleep props," but instead, put the baby in the crib awake and let him/her learn how to fall asleep on his/her own.  I also read Secrets of the Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg that teaches the same principles as Babywise, but was a much easier read.  (I recommend reading both!)

That being said, after two nights of sleeping in the pack-n-play bassinet in our bedroom, Wayne made the executive decision that Will needed to go ahead and sleep in his crib.  Without warning, the emotions welled up inside me and the flood gates opened.  Fear.  I did not want my precious brand new baby that far away from me!  And let's be honest, I'm terrified of SIDS.  After a good bit of comforting and a lot of convincing, I trusted Wayne's judgment and agreed.  I should also say that the ONLY reason I was okay with this is because of our incredible video monitor.  I knew that I would be able to see and hear his every move.  That first night was an eye-opener: we both slept so much MORE and so much BETTER with Will in his own room!  We've never looked back.

Okay, back to sleep deprivation.  Here's my story.

One night (probably in the first week or two), we both woke up to the sound of Will crying.
Wayne: "Is it time for him to eat?"
Me: "He is eating."
Wayne: "Huh?  What?"
Me: "He's eating."
Wayne: "What are you talking about?  He's crying."
Me: "I know, but I'm feeding him."
Wayne: "You're what?  No, he's crying!" (laughter)
Me: "I know!  He's right here!  I'm feeding him!" (feeling defensive...why is he laughing at me?!)
Wayne: (laughter) "What?!"
Me: "Stop talking to me like I'm an idiot!  I know what I'm talking about!"
Wayne: "HONEY, wake up!  He is not in the bed with us.  He's in his crib and he is CRYING." (more laughter)
Me: (finally realizing that the pillow I was clutching was NOT my baby, I laughed) "Oh my gosh!  What is wrong with me?!  Stupid pillow!  You're not my baby!"

I was completely convinced that I was feeding Will lying in bed even though I knew I was hearing him cry through the monitor!  Talk about a moment of crazy!

There were a few more nights where I woke up thinking I was feeding Will in the bed, but I eventually was able to be aware enough to realize: 1) not to say that I thought I was feeding him in the bed, and 2) that I wasn't, in fact, feeding him.  I was clutching a pillow.

Oh well.  At least we got a good laugh out of it!  (And thank the Lord I wasn't smothering my son like I was that pillow!)